


Operation: Break Up Kurt and the Hobbit (Or, How Finn and Puck are Terrible Matchmakers)

by orphan_account



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 01:29:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2330267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Puck, Finn, and Sam do not find Blaine to be as perfect as Kurt likes to believe. And no, it’s not because Puck thinks he’s too short, Finn is an overprotective brother, or Sam has an entirely obvious crush on Kurt. Although all of these things are contributing factors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Operation: Break Up Kurt and the Hobbit (Or, How Finn and Puck are Terrible Matchmakers)

**Author's Note:**

> This was written at least three years ago. I'm only just now getting around to posting my Glee fics here.

As far as first boyfriends go, Kurt is pretty positive his is the best. With his curls, his voice, his charisma… Kurt’s absolutely convinced he hit the boyfriend jackpot.

Even after his return to McKinley, Blaine still spends every Saturday with Kurt at the Hudmel house, remembers his coffee order, and, Kurt’s favorite, asks him to prom by serenading him with a High School Musical song.

Puck, Finn, and Sam, however, do not find Blaine to be as perfect as Kurt likes to believe. And no, it’s not because Puck thinks he’s too short, Finn is an overprotective brother, or Sam has an entirely obvious crush on Kurt.

Although all of these things are contributing factors.

On the weekend before prom, Finn invites Puck and Sam to the Hudmel residence because he has an idea for ‘a really awesome Glee number that will like, be really awesome,’ and because Blaine comes over on Saturdays and Finn has a funny feeling about him.

When Puck arrives it’s only eight in the morning and he knows Finn and Burt will still be sleeping and Carole is out doing the womanly errands she always does Saturday mornings, so he texts Kurt (who he knows wakes up at 7:30 every morning for his skin care routine) to let him in.

Kurt opens the door already dressed in what Puck calls one of his fuck-me-outfits. “The dwarf here or something?”

Kurt shoots Puck a glare. Puck smiles widely.

“Finn won’t be up for at least three hours, Puckerman,” Kurt informs him, ignoring the question altogether.

“Now how do you know I’m not here to see you?”

Kurt huffs and turns away from Puck, walking toward the couch. When he plops down unceremoniously onto the sofa, ruffling his clothes in the process, Puck’s eyes widen. “Dude, you okay?”

“Don’t call me dude,” Kurt lazily corrects, slouching (yes, slouching) into the couch. “However, if you must know, I’m not okay. Blaine called right before you got here to say he can’t visit today.”

“How come?” Puck curiously questions.

“Apparently he forgot he had tickets to some concert today.”

“Why aren’t you invited?” Kurt shrugs, a frown creasing his features. “What a dick.”

*

It’s about six hours later and Kurt, Finn, Puck and Sam are all mentally exhausted. It was about ten minutes into Finn’s explanation of this awesome Glee number (he gets sidetracked really easily) when he thought of something that would make his ‘really awesome idea even more awesome!’

“Let’s get Kurt to help! He uses really big words and stuff, he’ll be really good at this.”

And so Kurt was summoned from his room (where he was sulking) and into the living room to help the three jocks write a ‘manly song’.

With only a verse written on the piece of notebook paper that sits on the table in between them (Finn swears it’s taunting them), the boys decide a break is much needed. Sam flips the paper over and a simultaneous sigh of relief results.

This is when Kurt learns that guys gossip just as much as girls do.

“-and Quinn has gone psycho-crazy about being Prom Queen-“

“Dude! Lauren, too! Well, she also talks shit about Quinn a lot-“

“-and I can tell she’s still upset about the whole ‘Lucy Caboosey’ thing-“

“-but mostly it’s just about being elected. Apparently they’re fighting over-“

“-even though a bunch of fat girls are voting for her now-“

“-all the votes of the fat girls at school-“

“You two are terrible, you know that?” Kurt cuts in. Puck and Finn stop talking immediately and turn to Kurt. “You really shouldn’t be talking badly about your girlfriends.”

“If we can’t talk shit about them then who can we talk shit about?” Kurt glares at Puck’s smirk, then turns his glare to Sam who is failing at hiding his amusement.

“Something funny, Sam?” Sam shakes his head in a serious manner, his eyes downcast and lips forming a straight line. “I thought not.”

And then Sam bursts out laughing.

Finn, for a moment, fears for his new friend’s life. He’s not positive, but he’s pretty sure you’re not supposed to tickle a sleeping dragon or something like that. His eyes meet Puck’s from across the table. Puck’s jaw is dropped, and he can’t seem to decide if he should look at Kurt, Sam, or maybe even the floor.

Kurt laughs.

Finn stares in shock and Puck lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Sam never stopped laughing in the first place.

Finn and Puck are both pretty positive something meaningful just happened. The two best friends look at each other and then back to Kurt and Sam, whose laughter is finally dying down.

Yeah. Something just happened.

They’ll just have to ask Kurt or Sam later exactly what it was.

*

“Oh my gosh we have a verse and a chorus we are so awesome!” Finn blurts loudly when Kurt finishes writing the last line of the chorus. “I think, since we did so awesome today, we should just finish this up next weekend.”

“That sounds like a fantastic idea,” Puck agrees instantly. He got tired of songwriting about two hours before they started.

Kurt and Sam agree as well.

Puck and Finn take this as a sign that they are soulmates.

Just as Finn opens his mouth to announce this obvious love, Kurt says, “Blaine’s concert is over by now. I think I’m going to meet him at the Lima Bean.”

And then he walks through the living room and out the door. Finn is confused, Puck is outraged, and Sam has big lips.

“Dude, what the hell?! How could he ditch us for the hobbit?” Puck breaks the silence followed by Kurt’s surprisingly anticlimactic exit.

“Yeah! And that’s after the hobbit- Blaine ditched him!” Finn adds.

The two boys turn to Sam, waiting for his contribution.

“Um…” Sam pauses. “Darn him.”

Puck eyes him questioningly while Finn just nods strongly. Sam averts Puck’s eyes and after a moment Puck chuckles.

“I don’t like him,” Puck announces, looking at Sam for confirmation to his newly formed theory.

“Hey!” Finn exclaims. “Kurt’s my brother now and-“

“Shut up, Frankenteen. I meant the hobbit, not Kurt. I don’t like the hobbit.”

“Oh, yeah, me neither. I get a bad feeling from him,” Finn says simply. Puck nods and continues to look at Sam.

“Yeah, Kurt could do better,” Sam finally states.

“Dude, Finn, Sam totally wants to fuck Kurt,” Puck says casually, a moment after Sam.

“What?!” The two other boys exclaim. Sam’s face is similar to a tomato or an apple or something else that’s red while Finn looks mildly disgusted.

“Gross man, that’s my brother!”

Sam stutters for about ten seconds and then sighs.

Puck takes this as confirmation and ignores Finn’s sputters.

“Unfortunately for Sam, Kurt’s already dating the hobbit,” Puck says needlessly. Sam calls him Captain Obvious. Finn continues sputtering. “Fortunately, it really isn’t hard to break two people up, especially two people as ill-fitted for each other as Kurt and Blaine.”

“I dunno man, Kurt’s actually been pretty happy ever since he started going out with Blaine. I don’t want him to be all sad if they break up…” Finn, ever the good soul, interjects. Puck knew he was listening through his sputters.

“I have a plan to save us from that, though. I say, tomorrow night, we’ll all meet back here with Kurt. Somehow, with my intense skill of conversation, I’ll make sure we end up talking about the hobbit. We’ll get Kurt to tell us about their relationship and how Blaine treats him and shit. I mean, after he made out with Berry at that party, you know the dude is probably just as douchey at other times.”

“…I don’t understand,” Finn’s eyes are blank as he looks at Puck.

Puck sighs. “We’ll make Kurt realize how big of an ass his boyfriend is and he’ll totally dump him! You know once he realizes he’s being treated like shit he’ll go all HBIC on the hobbit’s ass.”

“Okay, great, so Kurt’s single, but how will that make him like me?” Sam asks impatiently.

“I don’t know, dude, woo him or some shit. My job is to break Kurt and Blaine up. You’ve gotta do that yourself.”

Sam sighs and Finn shrugs helplessly at him. He still doesn’t completely comprehend what Puck just said, but it sounds pretty good. Finn grins at Puck widely.

“But wait-“ Sam interjects suddenly. “What if Kurt gets to talking about Blaine and he actually is a good guy. I really don’t want to sit around and listen to the guy I like gush about the guy he likes.”

“Two points: One, Blaine is totally a douche but just in case, you don’t have to show up. We’ll report to you later. And two, did you just say ‘gush’?”

Sam sticks his tongue out at him.

“Did you just stick your tongue out at me?” Puck asks incredulously.

“Okay, I’m leaving,” Sam announces, standing and stretching.

“Wait, I haven’t told you the name yet!” Finn and Sam roll their eyes simultaneously, but decide to humor their friend. “This will be Operation: Break Up Kurt and the Hobbit.”

“…Seriously?”

Finn would laugh, but he knows from experience never to make fun of the names Puck comes up with for operations.

Puck nods enthusiastically and Sam just rolls his eyes and walks out the front door.

Puck reaches over to high five his best friend when Finn suddenly says, “Wait, since when is Sam gay?”

SKSKSK

It’s Sunday afternoon and Kurt is looking at his step-brother and the mohawked kid like they are insane. At this point, Finn is pretty sure they’re just as insane as Kurt thinks they are. He’s positive that it’s some type of etiquette that you don’t look someone in the eye and say, “so tell us, are you gettin’ any from the hobbit?”  
Finn’s also pretty positive that Puck wouldn’t know etiquette if it punched him in the face. Now Finn’s wondering when on earth he learned the word ‘etiquette’. He blames Rachel.

But then Kurt’s answering, “Not that it’s any of your business, Puckerman, but no. Blaine and I have not engaged in coitus.”

“No, dude, I’m asking if you guys have had sex,” Puck informs him. Kurt’s eyes squint a little and he stares at Puck as though he isn’t sure if he’s actually human. Finn doesn’t understand why Kurt would look at Puck like that, because he never answered Puck’s question and it’s totally normal to ask again when people don’t understand.

“Coitus is the same thing as sex. As in, no, I have not had sex. I am a virgin,” and then he mutters something unintelligible with a bit of a scowl on his face. Puck looks at Finn and does a weird thing with his eyebrows, and Finn guesses that eyebrow thing means something but he doesn’t know what, so he wiggles his own in response. Puck looks lost as to what Finn means so Finn just looks away from his best friend and back at Kurt.

“What did you say about Blaine there, at the very end?” Puck asks Kurt quietly, and if Finn could choose any word in the world to describe Puck right now it would probably be something like ‘compassionate’ or ‘gentle’ or possibly ‘mohawk’. He seems to really care about Kurt in that moment and Finn is left wondering when he went from throwing Kurt into dumpsters to caring about his love life but he can’t think on it too long because Kurt’s crying now.

“He doesn’t think I’m-“ He pauses for a second and wipes his eyes. His cheeks turn red and he lets out a self deprecating chuckle. “You’ll think it’s stupid, but he doesn’t think I’m sexy.”

Finn doesn’t think it’s stupid, but he does think it’s odd, because aren’t you always supposed to think the person you’re with is sexy? Isn’t that the whole point?

“Why do you think that, Kurt?” Finn questions, because maybe Kurt is just misunderstanding. Then Finn remembers the whole reason they’re here is to convince Kurt that Blaine is a jerk, so maybe that wasn’t the right question. Too late, he supposes.

“He told me!” Kurt exclaims, suddenly less sad and more angry. “We performed this stupid song and apparently, when I’m trying to look sexy I just look like I’m having gas pains!”

“Wait- he said that to you?!” Puck asks incredulously. Kurt nods miserably. “So you don’t have sex because he can’t… like,” his voice drops to a whisper, “get it up?”

Finn knows they’re having a serious conversation. He knows that. He laughs anyway. Luckily Kurt laughs too, so he isn’t in danger of being castrated or something equally as terrible.

“That doesn’t really have anything to do with it,” Kurt assures Puck. “I mean, we rarely kiss, actually. And when we do, his voice, telling me I’m not sexy is always there in the back of my mind and I… Why should I give myself to someone who won’t even appreciate it? That’s not… That isn’t how it should be.”

Finn has knots in his stomach and Puck feels himself getting angrier with every word out of Kurt’s mouth.

“It isn’t a big deal, really,” Kurt continues. “I don’t think I’m ready for sex just yet.”

Kurt is shocked that neither boy makes a crude comment after his confession. The tears that fill his eyes now are of pride for these two ‘meat-headed’ jocks that have come so far in barely over a year. It surprises him how much he realizes, in that moment, that he loves them. While he’s only related to Finn by marriage, and not related to Puck at all, he sees them both as brothers.

He realizes he can tell them anything.

“Would you guys mind just… Just listening to me for a little while? I’ve just had some… There are some things I want off my chest. Some things I maybe want your opinions on. Would that be okay?” He asks, only mildly timidly.

Puck locks eyes with Finn who actually understands this time what the look is about.

“Yeah, Kurt. We’ll listen.”

*

The three boys sit in the living room of the Hudmel house for two hours, discussing Kurt’s relationship, before Puck’s mom insists he come home immediately so that he can see his Nana before she leaves.

Finn mocks him. Puck says, “My Nana is cooler than you’ll ever be, Hudson.”

Finn takes this very seriously and insists that Puck go see her if she really is that cool.

After their mohawked companion leaves, Finn and Kurt sit on the couch in silent for a few minutes before Kurt says quietly, “Do you think he’s like that on purpose?”

At first, Finn thinks he’s talking about Puck, and this confuses him greatly. Only a few seconds pass before he realizes Kurt means Blaine.

“I don’t know,” he replies honestly. “I mean, he acts that way knowingly, and he doesn’t seem sorry for any of it, but I’m not sure if he actually realizes what an ass he is. Maybe he’s just used to people falling at his feet.”

Finn realizes he should have said something like ‘yes, Blaine acts terribly on purpose because he actually hates you’ because then Kurt says, “I think I’m going to give him a last chance.”

“Um…”

“At prom,” Kurt elaborates, “I’ll let him take me to prom. He did work so hard on that High School Musical number.”

“And if he is a jerk at prom you’ll dump him?” Finn verifies unsurely.

“Well,” he begins, “Puck seems to think that Blaine wants me to be like everyone else… To fit in. But the truth is, I don’t fit in. That’s just how I am. I’m different, and that’s the best thing about me. I… I saw this really amazing kilt that I wanted so badly to buy for prom, but you know what I thought?” Kurt doesn’t wait for a response before continuing. “I thought, ‘Don’t do it, Kurt. You know Blaine won’t like it.’ How wrong is that? To make a decision based on what someone else will think of it?”

“That’s right,” Finn absently agrees. He isn’t really sure what exactly he should be saying, anyway. “Soooo… If he’s a jerk at prom, you’ll dump him?”

“I’m going to evaluate the way he treats me when I’m being myself. I’m going to see how he reacts when he sees that his boyfriend is wearing a kilt to prom.”

SKSKSKSK

Friday afternoon finds Kurt in front of his vanity, an array of products in front of him. His bathrobe is pulled tight around his body not because of Finn and Puck lounging on his bed and discussing which girls will wear the sluttiest prom dresses, but because of Sam. He’s perched on a chair right outside of Kurt’s bathroom, only about three feet away from Kurt himself.

It’s not like Kurt has a crush on Sam. They’re friends- good friends, even. Kurt has been inside Sam’s family’s motel room plenty of times with less space in between them than now. And even though Kurt still has an incredibly strong suspicion that Sam is much less than straight, he has yet to prove his theory but it doesn’t matter, because Kurt has a boyfriend (for now, his mind corrects) and he doesn’t like Sam like that anyway.

Kurt is used to spending time in close proximity to Sam; he is not, however, used to being (almost) completely naked while in said close proximity.

He is truly comfortable around Sam, though. Even without his doubts of Sam’s heterosexuality, Sam is a really amazing person to be around. Kurt finds himself able to let go and be himself around Sam that he has never been able to do with Blaine. With Blaine, the constant need to impress takes over and he finds himself not trying so hard. Sam, however, seems to enjoy the side of Kurt that Blaine seems to stifle.

Kurt hadn’t been comparing Sam and Blaine in his head for very long- only since his talk with Puck and Finn- but now that he had started he can’t seem to stop.

“Hey, Kurt,” Sam’s voice rings out. Kurt jumps. “Sorry,” Sam smiles shyly. Kurt shakes his head and tells Sam to continue. “Anyway, I wanted to know if tonight, at prom, if you would…”

His voice trails off and his cheeks redden. Finn and Puck have stopped talking and are staring at Sam with identical grins on their faces.

“I wanted to know if you would save a dance for me.”

Sam lets out a long breath and looks everywhere but Kurt’s eyes. Kurt can’t hear anything apart from the blood roaring in his ears. He suddenly wishes that Finn and Puck were anywhere but here, imposing on this moment.

“You want to dance with me?” His voice comes out higher pitched than normal and he knows he’s blushing down to his toes, but Sam seems to be as well so he thinks that maybe it’s okay.

“I mean, I know you have a boyfriend and that he’ll want to dance with you, too,” Sam said. He squeezes his eyes tight, fear gripping him. His stomach is in knots and his tongue feels dry but he has been planning this moment for days. He looks up quickly and meets Kurt’s eyes steadily. “I’ll dance with girls- I have two girls as dates, so that’s a given- but I’m doing that for them. I just… It’s my prom too and I want to dance with a boy.”

Kurt’s mouth flaps like a fish on dry land. Sam pushes on.

“I’m not out right now, but it’s coming soon. Not by tonight though, and I can’t,” he pauses for a moment, “No, I won’t look back on my prom twenty years from now and regret not dancing with the one person I really wanted to dance with, just because the school I go to is full of homophobes.”

Puck and Finn, even though they already know Sam’s sexuality, sit shell-shocked on Kurt’s bed. Kurt stares at Sam and says quietly, “So you do dye your hair.”

Sam exhales. He laughs a little before replying, “It’s lemon juice, actually.”

Kurt shakes his head and smiles brightly at Sam.

Sam takes that as a yes.

SKSKSKSK

Sam and Puck leave the Hudmel residence about thirty minutes later, and as soon as the front door shuts behind them Puck turns to Sam and grabs him by the arms.

“Dude,” he says, “you are a fucking master. Like, seriously, I wanted to dance with you after that shit you pulled.”

Sam chuckles a little. “It wasn’t shit, dude. It was all true. Been planning on coming out to him like that for a few days now.”

“Man,” Puck shakes his head, letting go of Sam’s arms and continuing their journey to his truck, “you’re gonna have to teach me some of those vulnerable sad puppy dog lines so I can get Lauren out of her dress tonight!”

“You’re terrible, really,” Sam tells his friend as he climbs into the passenger side of Puck’s truck. “I honest-to-God just want to dance with him. Yeah, I want to be able to look back at this and know I was true to myself and danced with a guy, but right now, in this moment it’s him that I want to dance with.”

“Keep saying shit like that to him, dude,” Puck responds, “and you’re totally getting laid tonight.”

*

Kurt stands in the living room in front of his father, Finn, and Carol. His eyebrows are creased with worry as he stares down at his outfit.

“So you guys don’t think it’s too much?” He asks quietly, looking up for his family’s approval.

“Of course not, sweetie,” Carol says instantly. “You look very handsome!”

“Well,” Burt starts unsurely, “it’s definitely… you.”

Kurt and Finn share a smile. “Yeah, dude! You’re Kurt freakin’ Hummel, you’re like, fabulous and stuff. ‘Too much’ isn’t even in your vocabulary. And if Blaine doesn’t like it, and if he thinks it’s too much, then he’s obviously not good enough for you.”

“What are you talking about?” Burt asks curiously, looking from his son to his stepson. “Did Blaine say something, Kurt?”

Kurt goes to reply, but Finn beats him to it. “He always tells Kurt that he should try to fit in more and stuff. He doesn’t like McKinley Kurt very much.”

“McKinley Kurt?” Carol repeats.

“I blended at Dalton, Dad,” Kurt murmurs. “I mean, I was a Cheerio and I wore a corset and I didn’t let people tell me that who I am is wrong.”

“And you did that at Dalton?”

“Blaine told me to stop trying so hard.”

Before anyone can respond, the doorbell rings and Finn jumps from his spot on the couch to answer it. Kurt sends his father a glare that clearly says say something and I will behead you and Burt grumbles quietly. Kurt can hear Finn greeting Blaine at the door and he quietly slips from the room and into the kitchen. He feels his heart pounding and his palms sweating and he can’t tell if he’s more nervous or excited.

“Kurt,” Finn’s voice calls loudly, “Blaine’s here!”

Kurt answers with a be right there and he breathes in deeply. He looks down at his ensemble and likes what he sees. He’s ready to face Blaine, face the possible end of his relationship, when Sam’s voice rings in his head, asking if Kurt would dance with him.

No, I won’t look back on my prom twenty years from now and regret not dancing with the one person I really wanted to dance with, just because the school I go to is full of homophobes.

Kurt runs through the words again and again until it clicks that Sam had said the one person and that that one person is him. Suddenly his mouth is dry and his stomach is twisting and he’s never wanted someone more than he wants Sam right now.

The thought shocks him, because not two hours earlier he was convincing himself he didn’t see Sam as more than a friend. Two hours earlier, his mind supplies, you didn’t know Sam liked you back.

Finn calls for him again and Kurt huffs, walking into the living room to see Blaine in a simple tux seated on the couch next to Finn. Burt sat opposite them, glaring at Blaine openly. Kurt fought the urge to laugh at Blaine’s terrified expression.

“Hey,” Kurt says, announcing his presence. “You ready to go?”

Blaine turns to Kurt, mouth open to speak, and then abruptly shuts it. His eyebrows furrow and Kurt can tell he’s looking at his kilt but he stands tall and defiant, ready for (wanting) Blaine’s criticism.

“Kurt,” Blaine says in a condescending tone, “are you wearing a skirt?”

“No,” Kurt snaps, “it’s a kilt. Have you never seen one before?”

Blaine shrugs awkwardly and tries again.

“I just-“ he pauses, “why are you wearing one to prom?”

“Because I like it,” Kurt responds angrily. He knew this was coming, a part of him wants it to happen, wants to be rid of Blaine because as long as he’s dating Blaine he can’t go for Sam and not going for Sam sounds awful, but Blaine’s words still hurt.

“Aren’t you afraid of getting made fun of?”

“What are you implying?” Burt’s loud voice rang out through the living room. Blaine looks as though his puppy has been shot.

“Yeah, Blaine,” Finn adds, “are you saying Kurt shouldn’t wear what he wants? Are you dictating his choices?” Finn’s cheeks turn red and he mumbles, “Rachel taught me that word,” and then he remembers that he’s dating Quinn, not Rachel, and has the nerve to look ashamed.

Kurt chuckles.

“I don’t mean to dictate your choices, Kurt,” Blaine starts, and Kurt senses a ‘but’, “but this isn’t a smart idea.” 

“I’d like you to leave,” Kurt says firmly. He doesn’t say it loudly, his voice is calm and even but very final.

“What?” Blaine looks confused.

“Can you join me on the porch?” Kurt asks, glancing to his father, step-mother and step-brother. Blaine sighs loudly (and dramatically) before getting up and following Kurt outside.

“What the hell, Kurt?” Blaine whispers angrily as soon as the door closes behind them.

“I’m sick of the way you treat me,” Kurt answers, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “You think that I need to fit in with everyone else, you think you should be able to have a say in the things I do or the clothes I wear or the way I act, and you don’t think I’m sexy.”

Blaine’s face is red and he scoffs loudly. “Is that what this is about?!”

“Yes, Blaine! It’s about that! And it’s about everything else, too! I liked you, Blaine, I really did, but right now I don’t even want to look at you because all the things you’ve said to me keep ringing in my head. I am not a conformist, I am a leader which means I wear what I want and no one can stop me. The fact that I’ve let you try for so long is something I regret, and I’d really appreciate it if you left.”

Blaine is silent for a moment, staring at the ground, eyebrows still furrowed. “Who will take you to prom?”

Kurt laughs and takes a step back from his ex-boyfriend, hand on the doorknob.

“Not you.”  
SKSKSKSK

Finn sits on the couch, fiddling with the sleeves of his suit jacket, waiting for Kurt to return. He jumps when the doorknob clicks and the door shuts. The three Hudmels look up as Kurt enters without Blaine, smiling.

“I did it,” he mutters, then laughs a little.

“Congrats, dude!” Finn pats him on the back. “I gotta text Sam and Puck!”

“What about prom?” Burt asks, ignoring Finn as he rushes up the stairs. Carol stands up and kisses Kurt on the cheek before leaving the living room. Kurt sits on the arm of his dad’s chair and sighs.

“Dad,” he says quietly, “it won’t be lame if I go to prom with Finn and Quinn, will it? I don’t want to go entirely by myself, and I have-“

He stops suddenly, and Burt gives him a funny look. “You have what, kid?”

“I’ll be right back,” Kurt answers, then jumps from the chair and follows Finn up the stairs. He bursts into his room and grabs his phone off the nightstand, scrolling through his contacts and then pressing the call button. His heart is pounding so loudly he can barely hear the ringing but he hears the hello clearly. “Hey, Sam, it’s Kurt. I was wondering if you wanted to go to prom with me.”

*

This time when the doorbell rings, Kurt leaps from the sofa and runs to the door. He yanks it open to reveal Sam, smiling nervously in a too-big suit and a bolo tie.

Kurt’s never seen anyone look better.

“Hi,” Kurt says shyly, fighting a smile. Sam is blushing slightly, with a small smile etched upon his face.

“Hey,” he answers, and it’s obvious he’s nervous. “Um, you look really great. That’s a kilt, right?”

The smile breaks free and Kurt can’t help but let out a laugh when he nods his head and lets Sam in.

“My dad wants to meet you really quick, but then we can go,” Kurt tells Sam, leading him to the living room where Burt stands awkwardly. “Dad, this is Sam.”

Burt says something grumbly beneath his breath but holds his hand out for Sam to shake. Sam fights his nerves and shakes with the firmest grip he can muster.

“So, now that introductions are complete,” Kurt says, “me and Sam can go, right?”

Burt rolls his eyes and gives Kurt a look before turning back to Sam. “So, you’re on the football team?”

Kurt groans and puts his head in his hands. Sam answers nervously.

After a few random questions that leave Kurt dying to take Sam and leave, Burt finally sighs and says, “Alright, boys, you can go. I want him back by one though, you got that?”

Kurt looks at his father incredulously. “Dad, I’m driving.”

“Right,” Burt says awkwardly. “Still.”

*

“Sorry about my dad,” Kurt says to Sam as they pull out of the driveway. “He’s just overprotective and still sore about Blaine.”

“And you’re not?” Sam asks. Kurt gives him a questioning glance. “You’re not sore about Blaine?”

“Eh,” Kurt replies with a shrug. “I’ve been preparing for it for about a week now, and I think even before that I knew he wasn’t good for me. I don’t even think I liked him as much as I liked the idea of having a boyfriend.”

Sam doesn’t say anything, just looks at Kurt as he drives. Sam can’t stop the smile from forming on his face while he looks at Kurt, focused yet relaxed and comfortable.

“What?” Kurt asks, noticing Sam’s staring. “Do I have something on my face?”

Sam chuckles. “Nope. You’re just…” He trails off, not even sure what word to use to describe Kurt.

Kurt doesn’t expect him to finish his sentence though, and they sit in a comfortable silence until they reach the school.

“So, I didn’t really think about it,” Kurt says nervously as they climb out of the car, “but you’re going to prom with a boy as your date.”

Sam looks over at Kurt, smiles a little, and says, “Fuck ‘em.”

Kurt laughs loudly and holds his hand up.

“Uh, huh?”

“A high five, Sam,” Kurt informs him as though this is common information and how could he possibly not know. “I thought you were the manlier of the two of us but you don’t even know what a high five is?”

Sam grins and slaps Kurt’s hand. “Sorry, I was lost in your eyes.”

“You did not just say that to me,” Kurt snorts, then covers his mouth and nose in embarrassment. “You did not hear that.”

“Oh, but I did,” Sam responds, “and I will remember it for the rest of my life. Kurt Hummel snorted at prom!”

Kurt looks at Sam.

“Yeah, that sounded kind of wrong, didn’t it?”

Kurt nods, holding back his laughter. When they reach the building they come across Karofsky and Santana. “Hello, boys.”

“Santana,” Kurt says politely, secretly admiring the dress he had preapproved.

Karofsky stares at the ground and Kurt ignores him. The two walk in front of Sam and Kurt without mention of them being together and Kurt feels like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders.

*

It’s midnight and Kurt is shocked at how much fun he’s had. Quinn and Finn had won prom king and queen, no one had said anything about their date, and the company was so much better than he had expected.

Figgins takes the microphone from Santana when Dancing Queen is finished and announces one final dance, adding on something that Kurt couldn’t understand and frankly doesn’t want to. He makes eye contact with Sam, who stands up and stops in front of Kurt, wordlessly offering his hand. Kurt smiles and can feel his blush, but he takes Sam’s hand and follows him to a vacated corner of the gymnasium.

Kurt knows it’s not meant to hide them, knows Sam isn’t ashamed. Neither want interruption from anyone and a secluded corner is the best place for that.

Sam looks awkwardly at Kurt’s waist, holding his hands up in the air. “I have no idea how to dance.”

Kurt laughs, taking Sam’s hands and placing them on his waist. He wraps his own arms around Sam’s neck and grins when he feels Sam’s heartbeat against his wrist. “Your heart is beating really fast.”

Sam looks down, embarrassed, before Kurt rubs his thumb along the back of his neck. Sam glances at Kurt’s smile as he says, “My heart is beating really fast, too.”

Sam lets out a mix between a sigh and a laugh, and wraps his arms further around Kurt, pulling him closer.

“I’m nervous,” Sam admits quietly, not looking away from Kurt’s eyes. “But I’m really happy I get to dance with you.”

Kurt feels his face heat up and his stomach twist pleasantly. His body feels like he’s on fire and he decides he wants to feel like this forever because this is perfect.

“Kurt,” Sam whispers, “I’m sorry Blaine was a jerk.”

Kurt looks at Sam through his lashes, sees the sincerity and it makes his head spin. “I’m not.”

“You’re not?”

“If he hadn’t been a jerk I wouldn’t be here right now,” he responds, then takes a breath and takes a leap, “and I wouldn’t get to kiss you.”

Sam’s breath hitches in his throat and it takes a few seconds for him to come back to earth before he says, “Are you going to kiss me?”

“Only if you want me to,” Kurt answers nervously. His hands are shaking but he doesn’t regret saying it. Sam nods, whispering yeah and suddenly his lips are on Kurt’s and it’s like floating and falling at the same time.

He wonders if they could stay like this forever, because there’s nothing he wants more than to continue kissing Sam for the rest of his life. But then they’re pulling back because air is necessary but Sam’s smiling and laughing and Kurt’s never seen him look happier. Kurt’s face looks the same, happiness shining in his eyes.

“I’m really glad that happened, I’ve been waiting a really long time,” Sam mumbles before leaning back in and capturing Kurt’s lips again.

Kurt decides he’s really glad it happened, too.

*

As they walk back to Kurt’s Navigator hand in hand, Kurt glances over at Sam. “Hey, Sam?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you really like the kilt, or did you just say that because it’s expected?”

Sam stops walking and Kurt turns, confused, to see Sam eying him up and down.

“No, yeah,” Sam says breathlessly. “Definitely like it. It’s sexy.”

“Sexy, huh?” Kurt repeats, and grabs Sam’s hand again.


End file.
